I doubt there is a program that will take several excel and access files and dedupe them the way you are asking for.
I won't get into all of the technical aspects, but I will give you a quick outline on how I think you can solve what you are asking.
1) Decide in what program you are going to work with the data. You can use Excel if you have less than 64k records total, or Access is really the best thing to work in, but not if you don't have the experience for something like this.
2) Make sure all of the files have the same standard layout. If you have extra fields for some, make sure they are at the end and that your master "template" file includes the fields needed.
3) Make sure each original file has the data formated in the same way. Set a standard (USPS guidlines are recommended) so that it will later be easy to find the dups.
4) Add one field that you can use to identify which file the data came from, a "source code".
5) Export the data into a format like ASCII delimited.
6) Import the data into your template file. At this point replace all the fields for file identification (source) with the proper information. It may be easier to do this in the original file before you export.
7) Import the remaining files.
8) Sort the file on address, phone, lastname+firstname, or other fields and each time go through the file looking for duplicates.
Another option would be to take this master file and get it to a
mail house or place that does dataprocessing. They can do NCOA/CASS address correction and standardization if you need it and deduplication with some commercial software.
9) Export the deduped data using your source code to ASCII delimited and re-import into the original files, after you have made backups.
Or, see if you can use the combined database in a shared manner and avoid this kind of problem in the future. :-)